I am going to work out this morning. After that I don't know what I will do until tonight when I will be heading to Trinity Baptist Church. My debt is constantly on my mind at the moment. I have no idea what to do about it.
I want a job in the film and or television industry that would allow me to have a car and a small house. A car that would not require me to work on since I know nothing about cars. A place to live where I would not have to have roommates since I am through with having roommates after my last experience. I also don't want to rent after the last experience I had with renting. I would not mind if it is an entry level position. I just want to make a conformable living.
I am willing to relocate to anywhere, almost, if the travel expenses and living expenses are taken care of. I would not mind staying in South Carolina if I could find work in the film and or television industry. I don't have much more patience for people that want to do the filmmaking thing as a hobby. I am also over people who want to make "Christian" movies and not make them well. Just because you're doing something with a low budget does not mean it has to be bad. I know there has been movies made on low budgets.
Now the end of all things is near; therefore, be serious and disciplined for prayer. 8 Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Be hospitable to one another without complaining. 10 Based on the gift each one has received, use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God. 11 If anyone speaks, ⌊it should be⌋ as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, ⌊it should be⌋ from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To Him belong the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:7-11 (HCSB)
Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert in this with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints. 19 Pray also for me, that the message may be given to me when I open my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel.
Eph 6:18-19 (HCSB)
Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises. 14 Is anyone among you sick? He should call for the elders of the church, and they should pray over him after anointing him with olive oil in the name of the Lord. 15 The prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will restore him to health; if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect. 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours; yet he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the land. 18 Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain and the land produced its fruit.
19 My brothers, if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back, 20 let him know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his life from death and cover a multitude of sins.
James 5:13-20 (HCSB)
I am tired and a little stressed. I have found out that I will be taken to court over the massive student loan debt that I have acquired. I have been looking for work for over a year now and I still have not found anything. I know that I need a great paying job to be able to take care of this debt. I have no idea what to do.
I went to school in the hope of improving myself. I thought I would be able to get an entry level job in the television or film industry. I can't even get a job at a small. local, television station.
I have applied to so many different jobs including some at churches. I am going to keep looking for work. I the idea of going to school for six years just to look for work that you can get without going to school crazy. I think spending all that time studying for a specific field and then to have to look for work in areas that you have no interest in or qualifications for a waste of time. Why do people get degrees not related to film or video production go into those industries?
All that I can think about is the fact that I owe close to or more than, not really sure at this point, a quarter of a MILLION dollars. I would have to win a very big lottery to pay off my debt. I wonder if that is the goal of higher education in this country. If only I were good at sports.
It is foolish to think "If God wants to make it happen He will". I am not saying that God cannot make anything happen if He wills it to be. I just desire to listen when He tells me what to do. God wants to have us be a part of His will. Christ said to follow after Him. It's not about just sitting and praying and expecting things to happen. I mean it's great to take time and pray and wait. But when God tells you to do something, then you should do it. Think of Jonah.
Being a Christian is not about being perfect. It's about reaching towards Perfection, Christ Jesus, and seeking after Perfection. It's not about you or me. It is not anything that we have done. Shall we boast in our ignorance? My confidence is not in Man, but the creator.
If you look at the world and nature you can see how things point towards God. How can all of this be from a random event?
Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise--16 making the most of the time, because the days are evil. 17 So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which ⌊leads to⌋reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit:
19 speaking to one anotherin psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,singing and making musicfrom your heart to the Lord,20 giving thanks always for everythingto God the Fatherin the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,21 submitting to one anotherin the fear of Christ.Eph 5:15-21 (HCSB)
I plan on working out shortly, but at the moment I am still not really awake. This makes it difficult to type this. I hate it when I sleep and I wake up tired. Maybe I just need to get started and I will become awake and energized by the work out.
It is not easy to consider direction in life. I mean there are so many choices that have to be made and you cannot just sit around and wait. I mean you can wait some but sooner or later you are going to have to actually do something.
I know what I want to do as a career, at least a general idea, but I have no clue as to how I will get there. I pray for clarity and direction with my career.
I should be going to Columbia After Dark tonight. There will be a band there. I hope that they won't be too loud. It would be great if Columbia After Dark could get some professional bands like Everyday Sunday or The David Crowder Band. I guess the bands they get are the only ones that they can get. Maybe it could be less a concert and more of a time of worship?
My hope is that Trinity Baptist Church is where God would have me worship, but if it's not I pray that God will direct me to that place. I am warming up to Trinity Baptist Church. I just want a place to worship where I feel like part of a big family instead of a spectator in the bleachers.
Get up, sleeper, and rise up from the dead,and the Messiah will shine on you.Eph 5:14 (HCSB)
Besides this, knowing the time, it is already the hour for you to wake up from sleep, for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over, and the daylight is near, so let us discard the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk with decency, as in the daylight: not in carousing and drunkenness; not in sexual impurity and promiscuity; not in quarreling and jealousy.14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no plans to satisfy the fleshly desires.Romans 13:11-14 (HCSB)
I went to Trinity Baptist Church this morning. I believe that I will be attending Trinity on Sundays now. I was in a different Sunday School Class this time and it really made the difference. It was great. I was even invited to play soccer today, which I am going to leave for after this post.
Remember that the blessing that flows down to you should overflow to others.
Some scripture that I read today that I want to share:
Christian Living among Outsiders
1 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2 to slander no one, to avoid fighting, and to be kind, always showing gentleness to all people. 3 For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved by various passions and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, detesting one another.
4 But when the goodness of God and His lovefor mankind appeared,5 He saved us --not by works of righteousness that we had done,but according to His mercy,through the washing of regenerationand renewal by the Holy Spirit.6 He poured out this ⌊Spirit⌋ on us abundantlythrough Jesus Christ our Savior,7 so that having been justified by His grace,we may become heirs with the hope of eternal life.
8 This saying is trustworthy. I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed God might be careful to devote themselves to good works. These are good and profitable for everyone. 9 But avoid foolish debates, genealogies, quarrels, and disputes about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. 10 Reject a divisive person after a first and second warning, 11 knowing that such a person is perverted and sins, being self-condemned.Titus 3:1-11 (HCSB)
Dear friends, I urge you as strangers and temporary residents to abstain from fleshly desires that war against you. 12 Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, so that in a case where they speak against you as those who do what is evil, they will, by observing your good works, glorify God on the day of visitation.13 Submit to every human authority because of the Lord, whether to the Emperor as the supreme authority 14 or to governors as those sent out by him to punish those who do what is evil and to praise those who do what is good. 15 For it is God’s will that you silence the ignorance of foolish people by doing good. 16 As God’s slaves, ⌊live⌋ as free people, but don’t use your freedom as a way to conceal evil. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the Emperor.
1 Peter 2:11-17 (HCSB)
As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but should be submissive, as the law also says.35 And if they want to learn something, they should ask their own husbands at home, for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church meeting. 36 Did the word of God originate from you, or did it come to you only?
1 Cor 14:33-36 (HCSB)
Therefore, I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument. 9 Also, the women are to dress themselves in modest clothing, with decency and good sense, not with elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, or expensive apparel,10 but with good works, as is proper for women who affirm that they worship God. 11 A woman should learn in silence with full submission. 12 I do not allow a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; instead, she is to be silent. 13 For Adam was created first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and transgressed. 15 But she will be saved through childbearing, if she continues in faith, love, and holiness, with good judgment.
1 Tim 2:8-15 (HCSB)
I am listening to music trying to decide what I really want to do today. I need to work out, but I need to just do it and get it done. I suppose I could work on some writing while waiting to find out about the video shoot that I am suppose to be helping with possibly tonight, tomorrow and Saturday.
Most people do not know that I did not move from Los Angeles to South Carolina because I wanted to move here. I was in a tough situation and this was the only option I could come up with. I do miss living in the city, but that's not where I am now, so I'll just have to deal with it.
If you think you know me then you most likely don't. I mean I have changed over the years. I have not found myself or become a different person, I have just changed. I am still changing and finding direction and clarity. The one thing that has been great about being away from the city is this redemption. I mean this clearing of my head of all of the notions I once had and held to so dear only to find that what I once thought was just an illusion. Do you perceive what I am saying?
My hope is to live in a faith that only comes from above. To live without judgement and not worrying about anything. I am not going to give in again, I will not do something just because I have nothing else to do, and I will not forget what I have been through.
I hope that my career will begin soon. I miss acting and video production. I miss going to movie screenings for free and going to industry events. I will not give up on this no matter what anyone says to me, because I don't care if anyone does not think that I am good enough. You cannot achieve if you listen to the doubters.
So the poor have hope,and injustice shuts its mouth.17 See how happy the man is God corrects;so do not reject the discipline of the Almighty.18 For He crushes but also binds up;He strikes, but His hands also heal.Job 5:16-18 (HCSB)
We have also received an inheritance in Him, predestined according to the purpose of the One who works out everything in agreement with the decision of His will, 12 so that we who had already put our hope in the Messiah might bring praise to His glory.13 When you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed in Him, you were also sealed with the promised Holy Spirit. 14 He is the down payment of our inheritance, for the redemption of the possession, to the praise of His glory.
Eph 1:11-14 (HCSB)
Therefore I, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, 3 diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds ⌊us⌋. 4 There is one body and one Spirit —just as you were called to one hope[11] at your calling--5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.
Eph 4:1-6 (HCSB)
I worked out to a new DVD today, "The Biggest Loser Last Chance Work Out". I was only able to do the first level of the work out. I also did the warm up and cool down. The first level was tough. I will have to work up to doing all of the levels (ALl 3). If you want to lose weight I suggest getting some of "The Biggest Loser" DVDs.
I don't know what I will do the rest of the day. I am considering staying home since it's so hot.
Last night was great. I went to the Ministry. I think I will go again next week.I should be helping with some video shoots these next two weekends. I don't know what I will be doing, but at least it will be something. Now, if only I could find something like this that pays.I know that there are some things that I need to do. I just don't know how to get them done. I need to: Find work, Buy a car, buy a small house, and buy the equipment and materials needed for a production company and photography studio. I know that this is so much to consider. I pray for these things, so that I can fully use the gifts given to me.Today I am not certain about going anywhere. Not that I don't want to go anywhere. It's just that it is very hot and I would have to walk to get to wherever I went. I remembered them from High School, but it has been so many years now since I graduated.I do plan on working out today. After that I have no idea. Maybe I will go to the library to work on my TV script.I met people last night from High School. I wish that I could say thatMay God be gracious to us and bless us;look on us with favorSelah2 so that Your way may be known on earth,Your salvation among all nations.
3 Let the peoples praise You, God;let all the peoples praise You.4 Let the nations rejoice and shout for joy,for You judge the peoples with fairnessand lead the nations on earth.Selah5 Let the peoples praise You, God,let all the peoples praise You.
6 The earth has produced its harvest;God, our God, blesses us.7 God will bless us,and all the ends of the earth will fear Him.Psalms 67:1-7 (HCSB)
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. 18 Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the nameof the One and Only Son of God.19 “This, then, is the judgment: The light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone who practices wicked things hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed. 21 But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his worksmay be shown to be accomplished by God.”
John 3:16-21 (HCSB)
I did not go to the library. I will be heading to the Post Office and then the ministry on 12th street that I was invited to after I finish posting this.
There should be some upcoming projects for me to be involved in, but none of them are paying gigs. I need something that pays and it has to be related to I have a passion for. I am hopeful that me being involved in these projects that it will lead to more projects and paying ones at that. These are some local filmmakers that I met or were able to connect with because of a filmmaking workshop that I attended. The workshop was presented by the South Carolina Film Commission.
I don't know how doing these projects will help me, but it's all I have at the moment. I know that these are very low budget projects by beginners, but it's something. You never know when something great will come from the place or people that you would never imagined it coming from.
I might work on my script tonight after I go to the ministry.
I worked out this morning. I just had to do it even though I was not motivated to work out this morning. I am not sure what I will do tonight. I might go to the library and then the Post Office before heading to the ministry on 12th Street that I have been invited to.
I miss acting and I miss being on set. I hate the pollen and my allergies. I need to find work, but it does not seem as though I am going to find any.
It's not that I want to move anywhere, not really, except having my own place would be great and having a car would be nice. I have applied to some places but I don't think I will get any of those.
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